Although language is the single most important element in communication, it is by no means the only one. It has been said that communication is only 20 percent verbal while the rest is intonation, body language, and so on. You may wonder how the percentage can be calculated, but the fact remains that mastering vocabulary and grammar is only the beginning of effective communication. There are several types of body language. First are deliberate gestures meant to communicate something specific. Most of them are not universal and can be mis 18 MIND YOUR MANNERS interpreted. For example, make a circle by putting the tip of your middle finger on top of your thumb. In English speaking countries this usually means OK, good. In France it means zero, bad. In the eastern Mediterranean it is obscene. In Japan it means money. Who could forget seeing President Clinton giving the thumbs up to a mass rally in Nigeria and being greeted by a roar from the audience? It was as if a foreign dignitary had given the finger to those in the White House Rose Garden. Even the simple handshake is different from country to country. Anglo-Saxons are taught to look the other person in the eye and use a firm grip. However, to many people that can feel like a challenge, an invitation to arm-wrestle. In central Europe and parts of Scandinavia you nod the head in respect, a gesture that can appear to others as a head-butt. In Mediterranean countries the handshake can be accompanied by an arm squeeze with the other hand, a vestigial embrace. Many other gestures and signals, whether deliberate or unconscious, have different meanings across borders. Body language also means the involuntary postures that express our feelings toward others. Sometimes they contradict the feelings that we communicate verbally or that others expect. From an early age we are taught how to modify, channel, and suppress instinctive physical interaction with others. For example, cultures that favor indirect communication and the repression of outward displays of feeling, like those of Japan or England, encourage impassive facial features and rigid deportment. The physical space between people, eye contact, touching, the angle of the head and the torso are loaded with meanings that can be misinterpreted by outsiders. While they may manifest themselves in different ways and with different emphasis, there are some general principles of body language that are common to most cultures. There are two basic groups of body language postures: open/closed and for ward / back. Open/closed is the most obvious. People with arms folded, legs crossed, and bodies turned away are signaling that they are rejecting messages. People showing open hands, fully facing you and both feet planted on the ground, are accepting them. Forward/back indicates whether people are actively or passively reacting to communication. When they are leaning forward they are actively accepting or rejecting the message. When they are leaning back, looking up at the ceiling, doodling on a pad, cleaning their glasses, they are either passively absorbing or ignoring it. The posture groups combine to create four basic modes: responsive, reflective, fugitive, and combative. In responsive mode, open/forward, the person is actively accepting. This is the time to close the sale, ask for agreement, demand a concession. In reflective mode, open / back, people are interested and receptive but not actively accepting. Trying to close the sale or asking for agreement now may drive them away into fugitive mode. This is the time to present further facts and incentives. It may also be a good time to keep quiet and let them think. In fugitive mode, closed/ back, people are trying to escape physically through the door or mentally into boredom. This is the time to spark interest in any way you can, even if it is irrelevant to the message. Finally, in combative mode, closed/ forward, there is active resistance. This is the time to defuse anger, avoid contra- diction and outright argument, and steer the other person into reflective mode. While there are cultural variations in how people express these modes, they are usually easily recognizable in any European country.
